September 2010
Back-to-school season, while exciting, can be unsettling for young students. They may worry about facing new teachers, classrooms, and classmates. Other children feel stressed because of busy schedules or high expectations that they or their parents set.
Preteens report that school, homework, and grades are their top causes of stress. Feeling like they have to be perfect just adds to some children’s anxiety. Signs of perfectionism include being afraid to fail or take risks, never being satisfied with one’s success, feeling insecure, and lacking flexibility. Here are some tips for helping children realize when “good enough” is good enough:
Encourage children to enjoy the process rather than just the outcome. Emphasize that the important part of school is to have fun learning, practicing, and doing, rather than being an immediate expert. It’s okay to dream big, regardless of the outcome.
Provide age-appropriate tasks to build confidence. To prevent frustration and getting “stuck,” show children how to tackle achievable tasks one at a time.
Accept “good enough” yourself. Try not to dwell on children’s mistakes. Offer many more comments about what they’re doing right than about what they’re doing wrong. Talk about times you’ve done your best and been satisfied with a less-than-perfect outcome.
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